The way forward from here...

I thought I would give you an update of what's been going on over the last few days... Looking back over the past week or so I realized that I had become a bit down, not only was I sick of having this cold that never seems to give me a break but the job that I loved more than any I had was going. 

Now I can't fault work over anything, they have been so good to us, but even so it's hard to explain to people unless they have been through it. Part of you feels that you have been sacked or told that what your doing is not enough. It's all a bit soul destroying and it makes you look at everything you are doing with your life. I have had days where I just wanted to sit down and just cry, not really for any one reason but just because the emotions just get to much.

So looking inwards...

I love a big part of my life for the first time in years and that part is being with Baz, I can't begin to tell you how he makes me feel and the love and support he gives me has seen me through some hard times this year. He is really not like anyone I have ever gone out with. I know that not to far away we will move from London and set up a home some place nice where we both can be happy, I can have my garden and my pets and he will have space for his guitars and games systems.

But to get to where I want to go I have to make a few changes... I have applied to study Journalism so that not only can I develop this blog and work on my book but I can also earn some extra cash where needed. I have my cooking to fall back on and hope one day to teach the odd class or two from home. All of these things are transportable and can be something I can do where ever we decide to live.

But for now I have taken a job in Waterstone's Kensington store and even though I am shitting myself about it all I know it will be for the best, I will learn new skills and develop old ones. I even had my area manager tall me the other day that she saw me as a branch manager in the future.

So life has it's ups and downs all the time I just wish they were more spread out...

It's my day off tonight and we are meeting Scott from one our favorite podcasts for a drink tonight... so I'm sure he will inspire me to get my kit out of the box and produce my first show in the not to distant future...

Bear. X

Coming soon...

Phake Chicken Pie

Risotto

more audio books

and more about life...