Thursday, September 21, 2006

A day at the vets… ok the hospital, I was just trying to get your attention…

Well to day was the big day; I went to the hospital to see my new Doctor, Dr Murphy. It was very strange talking about the symptoms I’ve had over the last eight months, I could hear myself telling her about trips to the supermarket that had ended in me having to leave my shopping half way because I couldn’t carry it any more, and how sometimes I walk up a few steps and how my body feels like its had all the power drained out of it and to walk a few more steps are more than my life depends on it.
We talked a lot about what I do in the day, how work makes me feel, my moods and how I get through the day.
We also talked about my out of work life too, its strange till you tell someone you have no life its as if its not real, sitting there telling her how I use to do things and how I would like nothing more than spend the day walking in the park taking photos and having fun, but how if I did I would be to ill the next day to be able to do anything.
She told me that from what I had said she would give me a rating of being disabled! Well that was something I hadn’t expected. She has asked me to come back next Friday to have more tests and see another doctor who is from the Department of Health to do a full medical to see if I can go into the new Government treatment program, this could be make or break if I don’t get onto it I could be waiting six to eight months for more treatment.
She asked me to go for a HIV test “just to rule it out” I said I didn’t mind I just wanted to get better and if we could rule something out all the better. It’s funny she asked me what would I do if it came back positive? I found myself saying, “Well I’d do nothing!” What I meant was it wouldn’t change my life I’ve changed my life so much in the last eight months I couldn’t see it changing much more. I went for the test and even though I knew it would be negative I still sat there feeling sick to my gut, it must be how everyone feels, even when they call you back into the little room to tell you your results your not sure what they will say…. Oh I should tell you what the results were, I know you will want to know out of interest to the story more than anything else… The test came back negative.
So at the end of the day I was sat down and told that as far as she was concerned I had a undoubted diagnosis of CFS/M.E (that’s what they are calling it now) if any of you are interested you can go to;

Well I will Blog again soon.

Bear X

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